This year's Portsmouth Beer Festival took place over the 16th and 17th May and, for a change, the gods of English weather were in a good mood as the sunshine was rampant and the temperatures were blistering. The basic agenda for the day had been decided by my drinking companions for the afternoon, namely my dad, my uncle and a few of their friends. It just so happened that May 17th was also the day of this year's FA Cup final and so it made perfect sense to get to the pub for the game and then venture to the beer festival when it was all over (or at least when we thought it was). This turned out to be a good idea in theory as we witnessed one of the best cup finals in recent years with Arsenal coming back from 2-0 down to beat Hull City 3-2 in extra time, win their first trophy in 9 years and keep a certain stoic Frenchman in his job.
Anyway, with the football out of the way and a few pints down us, it was time to embrace the delights of whatever the beer festival could throw our way. Whilst I had never experienced a beer festival in my home town, I was on considerably better footing than my dad who had never been to a beer festival in his life and, based upon how much he enjoyed this one, probably never will again. At this point, it makes good sense to describe the venue.
Portsmouth Guildhall was completed in 1890, having been designed in the neo-classical style by William Hill (not that one), who also designed Bolton Town Hall. Local architect Charles Bevis directed the construction and added to the design when Hill died prior to the building's completion. It was originally the town hall but was renamed Portsmouth Guildhall when Portsmouth was granted city status in 1926. The capacity of the building, a popular entertainment venue, is around 2000. On 10th January 1941, the building was struck by incendiary bombs and gutted. The interior and roof were destroyed with just the outer walls and tower remaining, albeit fire-damaged. It was rebuilt at a cost of £1.5 million and re-opened by Her Majesty the Queen on 8th June 1959. The interior was altered from the original and the external style is missing much of the original detail. The bell tower contains 5 bells known as the Pompey Chimes. The biggest of these is named after Queen Victoria and inscribed with her name. The remaining four were named by public poll and 3 of these were initially called Nelson, Victory and John Pounds. The official naming was stalled due to the popularity of the vote for Harry Redknapp, the former manager of Portsmouth, who left shortly before voting started. Due to the council suspecting foul play, the bells have since remained unnamed. The building itself is one of central Portsmouth's key landmarks and I'd show you a picture but the 'upload' option appears to be lying to me............. The chimes of the Guildhall bells also provide the tune to one of the most famous chants in the football world (at least in League 2), namely 'Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up'. We're nothing if not poetic us Southerners.
Anyway, back to the beer festival. Upon entry, having bought our tickets in advance for £10, we were all issued with a commemorative pint glass and two beer tokens, with a nearby price board advising us how to buy more and how much that would cost. I bought a further 8 tokens for £11 as I thought this would be a good place to start. The pricing of beers was reasonable as well; 1 token would get us a half with pints worth 2 tokens. Clutching my program/beer list, I headed into the main room where the beers were all laid out. It was at this point, that I had to instruct my dad as to how a beer festival actually worked, firstly by explaining why the beers were arranged in alphabetical order by brewery, something which I didn't feel needed as much explanation as I was forced to provide. I also then had to explain why he would be unable to find any lager, despite being convinced by my uncle that there would be some, with the simple argument that lager isn't beer in the same way that ice cream isn't soup. With the shame rising inside me, I decided that to continue drinking would be a good idea. The next few minutes showed me the importance of forward planning. This was the final of 3 sessions for this beer festival which, as aforementioned, had started the previous day. This meant that a lot of first choice options for myself and others were no longer available. I didn't look too badly on this though as it means that the beer festival was successful. After a couple of changes due to low stock, I finally settled on Cascadian Black (4.8%) from Yorkshire' Saltaire Brewery. This was a black IPA (a term that still baffles me) with the roast malt flavours of a stout supported by the bitterness, fresh pine and citrus grapefruit flavours of the Cascade hops. It turned out to be a good place to start, even when I returned to the group to find that Dad was still complaining. Myself and Andy, one of my dad's friends were at least enjoying ourselves though, even though I had to guide him through the beer list because he didn't have his glasses. My next choice was something totally different. I opted this time around for Sunburst from Dark Star. At 4.8% again this had a hint of initial sweetness that added to the fruitiness and grapefruit tang without detracting from the clean flavour and rich hop aroma.
This being a beer festival, there was live entertainment on offer and it was at about this point that the next act started up. I can best describe them as a band of (presumably) students who wanted to sound like Mumford & Sons despite being nowhere near as talented and considerably more annoying. However, it was not my fault but theirs (ba dum TISH!). Next on my list of stuff to try was a beer from Derbyshire's Thornbridge brewery. Again with a strength of 4.8%, Jaywick started with a powerful, zesty flavour of grapefruit hop but this was followed by floral rose petals and then a smooth malty taste that balanced the sharp citrus flavours. I enjoyed this one the most at this stage as the random mix of flavours was the equivalent of being caressed with a lemony thorn bush, although a lot more pleasant than that analogy probably came across. Dad and I have a running joke that every time we go somewhere in Portsmouth, I bump into someone I know. This theory was confirmed when I bumped into my old best friend from junior school, for the first time since we went to college together nearly a decade ago. Still reeling from this unexpected but not unpleasant blast from the past, I decided that more beer was needed, at least to drown out the sounds of the band finishing their set with a cover of a song by Mumford & Sons. I stepped down the percentage for my next choice and segued back to Dark Star for a taste of their Partridge Best Bitter (Aha!) at 4.0%. This best bitter is brewed in a traditional Sussex style using Maris Otter, Crystal and Chocolate malts with East Kent Goldings hops. It went down very well indeed.
It was at this point that I sensed that Dad was getting frustrated with his surroundings and this was further confirmed when he began telling me to use my tokens up quickly. Not wanting to annoy him anymore than he'd already annoyed himself I did my best to oblige. My next beer was Sharp's Cornish Coaster (3.6%), weaker than I would normally have opted for but tasty nonetheless with fresh hop aromas blending seamlessly with light fruity-sweet notes. By the time I returned from collecting this beverage, Dad was finally drinking something that he seemed to be enjoying. I later determined that this was Sharp's Cornish Pilsner, winner of World's Best Lager.............. I'm not knocking Sharp's by any stretch of the imagination as their beer is fabulous. I'm just mocking my dad's lack of imagination. He might as well have smuggled cans of Carling in with him. I had time for one more pint before the departure that I think Dad was banking on. Whilst I decided what this was to be, the 'headline' act for the evening appeared onstage. The Southsea Alternative Choir consisted of 8 blokes, 4 of which played a variety of instruments whilst the other 4 just sang, not necessarily at the same time. They essentially came across as looking like the survivors of a fight between The Flaming Lips and The Polyphonic Spree. Make of that what you will. The beer that would turn out to be my final one of the evening was from the Tiny Rebel brewery and named Goldie Lookin' Ale. I gathered it must have been a relatively new brew as the program contained no mention of it. At 4.5%, this was a golden ale with hints of lemon and peach on the nose and a strong, dry malt taste that accompanied a smooth finish. I'm glad I went for a pint of it as it was definitely worth it.
And with that, it was time to go! It had certainly been an interesting day and I had thoroughly enjoyed it, even if the same cannot be said for other members of the Bulley family......... With the sounds of strangely executed trumpet noises echoing in our ears we departed Portsmouth Beer Festival in search of that other well known staple of the lads' night out -- Chinese food. Portsmouth Beer Festival is certainly something that I'd like to make a regular effort to get too, hopefully for longer next time though. It showed me that beer festivals can be done well wherever you go and this is good news, particularly as this represented my first beer festival outside of the Midlands. There are 1 or 2 important things that I took from it that I feel are worth sharing:
1) The earlier you get to a beer festival, the better. There's nothing worse than some of the best ones being sold out before you even arrive. Alternatively, if you would rather go later, don't be one of those people that complains when your first choice brew is gone. You've only really got yourself to blame.
2) This one is very important and I can't stress it strongly enough. Don't take lager drinkers unless they're willing to try stuff. And maybe not even then. They'll only get on your nerves and resort to drinking Pilsner.
All in all, it was a good day out and would recommend it to anyone that happens to be in Portsmouth in mid-May when the beer festival normally takes place. Southerners can do this kind of thing just as well as you weird Northerners.
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